Friday, January 23, 2009

Why Men are Never Depressed

I came to work today thinking it will just be another boring day at the office, like it always is. I arrived at 7:20 am in the morning (Yikes, I need to find an employer who likes sleep just as much as I do) Anyways to my surprise I find a piece of paper on my chair and it totally made today livable. So I then decided that since I have never posted anything on my blog yet that I would post this. Hopefully someone may have a better day because of it. So here goes....

Why Men Are Never Depressed

Men are just happy people. What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park. You can wear No shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental $100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phones conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes – one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.


  1. O-kay that is funny stuff and soo true ! Men have an empty box in their special part of the brain and I wish for that toooo. Things would
    be a little more "simple". I am sending to the printer.

  2. ok, that is so stinking true its not even funny. If only my life were that easy, I would obviously be as stress free as Mike (who happens to think that everything happens for no reason)ie...Kids are dressed (wow how did that happen)..dinner is cooked (wow how did that happen).. the bills got paid (wow how did that happen). Tis the life I suppose.